In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon

In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon

Simon's central correction is that manipulative people are usually not insecure or wounded underneath. They are aggressive, they know exactly what they are doing, and the assumption that everyone is really just afraid is what lets them keep operating.

He catalogues the tactics — denial, selective inattention, rationalisation, diversion, playing the victim, playing the servant, shaming, guilt-tripping, minimisation — and then gives rules for engaging: judge behaviour rather than intentions, drop the need to understand why, set consequences you will actually enforce, and stop arguing about the past.

A standard reference for anyone dealing with a difficult colleague, partner or family member.

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